Emotions and Feelings

Emotions are instinctive and neurological reactions to a stimulus, creating biochemical and electrical reactions activated through neuro-transmitters and hormones released by the brain (e.g., frightened by a sudden loud noise).

Emotions are messages to let us know how things are going at the moment. All emotions are useful and helpful. But, sometimes, it is helpful to be able to change the way we are feeling.

Feelings are mental associations and reactions to an emotion that we assign with a particular meaning, influenced by our personal experiences, temperament, beliefs, memories, and thoughts (e.g., excited that your favorite sports team won the game).

The ability to change the way we feel is called self-regulation.

Relationship of Emotion to Thoughts and Behavior

The basic foundation of developing healthy coping skills and resilience building is understanding that thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are very much connected.

We have control over all of these.

It begins with our thoughts. Your thoughts influence your feelings and your feelings drive your behaviors.

The emotions we feel have a subjective, physiological, and expressive component – how we experience the emotion and how our body reacts to the emotion can influence the actions we take and the decisions we make to help us survive, avoid danger, form social connections, and thrive.

Emotional Intelligence

EI is the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. The ability to express and control emotions is essential, but so is the ability to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others.

All of our experiences are processed by our minds. The mind stores information from our past experiences, from things we have been taught, and also stores thought patterns. This is all filed away and informs our reactions and beliefs about the future.

4 Key Skills of Emotional Intelligence

1. Self-management

This is control impulsive feelings and behaviors, managing emotions in healthy ways, taking initiative, following through on commitments, and adapting to changing circumstances.

2. Self-awareness

Rwcognizing own emotions and how they affect thoughts and behavior; knowing strengths and weaknesses, and having self-confidence.

3. Social awareness

Empathy, able to understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.

4. Relationship management

Developing and maintaining good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

Emotional Intelligence Matrix

Healthy minds are flexible and able to adapt to different situations and needs. Our minds need constant care to ensure we are keeping them healthy, flexible, and resilient. The best care we can give them is to practice flexible thinking so that we keep learning and growing.

Dealing with Emotional Decisions:

1. Stop before you decide, to give yourself a chance to think.
2. Think about how you will feel as a result of each possible action.
3. Consider what might happen as a result, and how your decision might affect others. Would you be happy with those effects?
4. Take some time out before making a decision.
5. Consider the decision against your values. Does it fit with them? If not, why not?
6. Think about what someone whom you respect would think about your decision. Are you happy with that?
7. Consider what would happen if everyone were to take the same action. If this would be a disaster, then probably best not to do it.